Swim class ended today, and what better way to reward hard work than with the timeless McDonald's Happy Meal? I mean, everyone knows you have to start associating success with fatty foodstuffs early—otherwise, the young 'uns won't have a good reason to try hard. So age 15 months and change seemed just about right for the hallowed nuggets, fries, and a toy. But who knew just how much value $2.79 could buy? Here's a taste:
- More ingredients in the milk. The boring white stuff in your fridge usually has two measly ingredients, milk and vitamin D3 (for us indoor types who don't get enough sun). But the McDonald's Milk Jug has so much more! We're talking skim milk and concentrated skim milk here, people, with vitamin A palmitate thrown in for good measure. Now that's a milk jug.
- Potatoes the way nature intended. Nurturing your toddler's palate to appreciate vegetables can be a long road—so why not take a short cut? Blanketed in a child-pleasing blend of salt and grease, French fries will instantly make your baby a root-vegetable fan without the tantrum. And good news for moms: You'll never have slave over mashed, boiled, or baked potatoes ever again.
- Less cluck for your buck—the way they like it. For picky eaters, nothing says "no thanks" more than a possible run-in with protein. That's why the tiny "all-white meat" portions of these chicken nuggets take a backseat to the substantial cloud of fried batter surrounding them. Let your dog have at the meaty center, then serve up those crispy shells and bask in your little one's smile. She'll thank you for it, and so will the retail clerk at your plus-size baby clothing outlet.
- Critical thinking challenge. If mealtime conversations with your toddler usually consist of "that cup is NOT a hat" and "the dog already had her dinner," try livening things up with a brain teaser or two. Look no further than the Happy Meal bag itself for such promotional puzzles as: "Take a break—/Get Outside! / It's Fun to / RUN and JUMP / Online and Off!" Explaining that your DSL connector cable is not a jump rope will never be more fun.
- Advanced play opportunity. Sure, you can ask for an age-appropriate toy for your under-three-year-old—if you're a wuss. Say goodbye to Mensa if your kid can't operate a pull-apart Lego car without getting the teeny, weeny wheels caught in his throat.
McDonald's Happy Meal: *****
1 comment:
Why did you not tell me you had a blog? I had to find it from Hamtrap's!
Anyhoo, great stuff! Our daughter won't eat potatoes, she only likes the pancake meal from what she calls, "Old McDonald", and she is a ravenous protein consumer. She polishes bones, just like her daddy!
As for hamburgers, she is a huge fan of In-n-Out, which she has taken to calling, "heartburn", and we have no idea where she heard that.
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